Photo-A-Day | Documenting my children every day for the month of January.
Look here, baby girl.
I’m not happy about this.
You’re eleven, EEE-LEV-EN months old today.
And you walked more steps at a time than ever.
Five here, eight there, six many times.
And confirmation set in.
Sadness too.
A twinge of joy.
Okay, a lot of happy joy.
I love seeing your face light up after a few steps.
Your silly face,
A reflection of your accomplishment.
Your determination.
But deep down,
At the bottom of the well in my heart,
A selfish pain subsides:
I don’t want you to grow up.
I don’t want you to start walking yet.
I don’t want you to not need me.
Everything I never knew about myself,
I learned when I became a mother.
And as such, I’ve grown up with you.
Each of you.
But you’re my last baby,
The last baby of mine I teach to walk.
The beginning of many lasts,
But a lifetime of loving you.
Each of you.
Forever.
Pain and love will always battle,
Deep in my heart.
But love wins the war,
And I know as you grow,
So does the love I have for you.
Each of you.
So for now,
For this time,
I will watch in amazement,
Taking it all in,
Witnessing the daily miracles of childhood.
And motherhood.
As you learn to walk,
As you become more confident,
More assured, more independent,
Always know that the pathway to my heart
Is a short walk,
And the door is always open.
I love you.
Each of you.
